No Humans Allowed!
by CallMeLilydew
Summary: A hyper Victini, an emo Empoleon, a shiny Charizard, a dull Celebi, an even duller Mew, a glowing Cubone, an experimental Shaymin, a protective Gardevoir, and a Vulpix all go on an adventure, and- wait, have you heard this one before?
1. Chapter 1

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**Hello, FF! I've decided to randoml write a story. Why? Because it's late at night and insomnia strikes once again. Curses. **

**Anyways, here's a quick disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. Pokemon belongs to Nintendo. I don't own Nintendo, either. I don't own anything.**

**So yeah, read, rate, and fave!****

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Victini cheerfully walked through the forest. Thank Arceus that sugar she had stolen from an unsuspecting traveler had worn off. Humans were so stupid! That idiot was too shocked about a Unova Pokemon being in Sinnoh to notice that his brownies had dissapeared from his bag. Suddenly, she bumped into something.

"OH, SWEET ARCEUS!" Victini cried, grabbing her bleeding muzzle. She bumped into a razor-sharp piece of metal!

"Sorry."

Victini looked up to see a small, small Empoleon slinking off. His midnight blue feathers glittered in the sun's dappled rays. It was obvious that this Pokemon had a trainer.

"Watch where you're going! And-wait, you aren't shocked to see me here? A Unova Pokemon? In Sinnoh? Legendary? Recognize me...at all?"

Empoleon turned around, then shrugged. "I've seen legendaries before." He continued walking down the dusty, worn path. Victini narrowed her slightly-darker-than-sky-blue eyes at him. She quickly bounced after him, shouting madly.

"Oh, yeah!" she screeched, throwing her tiny paws into the air. "Well, how? Where's your proof, huh, huh, HUH, big guy?"

Empoleon turned around and towered over the rodent. Instantly, Victini was frightened. She wished she had never taunted him.

"Listen, I've been thinking about...things. Now get away from me before I split your head in half."

"What type of things?" Victini's fear melted into sadness and confusion. His voice was too sad, like he was at the verge of crying. The bitter Empoleon sat down.

"I...listen, I don't want to talk about i-"

"Speak. Now," Victini demanded, crossing her arms over her chest. Empoleon looked away.

"My owner...betrayed me. Got me as a Piplup, beat all 8 gym leaders with me, beat the Champion, obliterated Team Galactic, caught Dialga, Palkia, Giratina, and Cresselia. And I was the star of it all."

His head hung , a few tears slipped out of Empoleon's eyes. Victini's bright orange ears perked up.

"And then...we all...she said that she just wanted to 'relax'. And all...all of us...all of my friends...she put us down...and she...opened our balls...and..." By now, Empoleon was bawling and sobbing, sniffling between words. Victini tilted her head curiously.

"And she left us...all of us. A-and we...haven't...seen her since! A-and I'm...s-so worried about...her other Pokemon..." He blinked out a few more tears and quickly calmed himself down. He sniffled loudly and got back up to his feet.

"But why do you care? You-"

"Say, did she carry sweets with her?"

Empoleon narrowed his eyes at her. Suddenly, Victini noticed that one was pale brown and the other was cornflower blue. Interesting.

"Listen, you idiotic freak of nature. I never want to see your rat-like face AGAIN. I have NO idea how you survived this long out there. I suggest that you back off unless you want me to slice your freakishly large head off." Victini giggled at the threat, causing Empoleon to grow even more tense.

"Bring it, fatty!" she teased, hopping off. Empoleon grew hot with boiling rage. How dare she!

He swung a glowing, white fin at Victini, who skillfuly dodged. She giggled loudly, further enraging Empoleon.

What a jerk! He took in a large breath of air and fired the most powerful Hydro Pump he had in years. The hyper furball jumped up and _landed on top of it._ Before she could fall into the jet of water, Victini jumped back off, landing gracefully on one foot.

"Is that all you got? Cuz I doubt you beat one gym leader!"

With a loud snarl, Empoleon swung another Steel Wing at Victini. She hurriedly ducked, then bounced high up into the air and spat out a large stream of fire. The fire enveloped Empoleon completely, causing him to cry out.

Defeated, Empoleon collapsed. Victini cheerfully hopped up to him on one foot.

"Gee, man, I doubt you'd last a day out here. I'd better follow you and make sure you live!" She giggled once more and poked his belly. Empoleon's eyes flicked open in surprise.

"Oh, great..." he mumbled, so softly that even Victini's giant ears couldn't pick up the sound of his voice. "Now I'm gonna be stalked by this thing."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hola, FF! This is Chapter 2 of this poorly-titled fanfic. :'D Read, rate, fave, critique, enjoy! Or I'll eat you!**

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**Empoleon & Victini**

"Yeah, and then these weird Team Plasma freaks were trying to catch me! But then I used Psychic and killed 'em all! And they all ran away screaming like little baby Rattata! Hahaha, they were soooooooo fat! And stupid, and they were ugly, cuz they were humans! Stupid, ugly, screeching humans!"

Empoleon shook his head and closed his eyes, trying to ignore Victini.

"Uh...Victini, I saw the news. A girl and her Servine defeated all the grunts and released you."

Victini shot him a cold glare. Stopping, she crossed her pale orange arms over her chest again.

"Nu-uh! That totally didn't happen, you liar! I _totally _beat 'em all!"

Empoleon was about to sigh, when a pitch black shape crashed into him. He fell backwards, landing on top of Victini. And, on top of all of that, a pale, almost white Celebi landed on top of the pile.

"SWEET ARCEUS, I'M BLEEDING AGAIN!" Victini wailed, crawling out from under Empoleon. Empoleon slowly got back up to his feet, while Celebi quickly darted back into the air, hovering above the 3.

Before them sat a very large and scary-looking shiny Charizard. Her ebony scales almost blended into the shadowy forest behind them. She would have been invisable, if it wasn't for her giant, maroon wings and rays of sunlight that illuminated Route 1. Celebi tilted her head.

"Charizard, look! An Empoleon and Victiri!" Celebi cheered, spinning around in the air. Charizard got up to her large feet and slapped a clawed hand against her forehead.

"Celebi, it's Victini, not Victiri," Charizard corrected her, sitting down on the ground. Celebi circled her head.

"Yeah, right, because Victini makes SO much sense! It's pretty obvious that it's Victiri." Celebi spun around again, then hovered upside-down above Victini.

"Quit makin' fun of my name!" Victini howled, shooting off another blast of fire at Celebi. Celebi squealed and dodged, landing on the dusty path. Empoleon narrowed his eyes at the duo.

"Who are you?" he questioned, looking up at Charizard. Charizard snorted a puff of smoke into his face, making him choke.

"I'm Charizard, and this is Celebi." Charizard said, flicking her flaming tail towards Celebi.

"And I'm Victi**NI**," Victini scowled, putting a lot of emphasis on the "Ni" part of Victini. Celebi rolled her sky blue eyes.

"Uh, yeah. Whatev. Anyways, Pidgey. That's all." Celebi announced. This was followed by a chorus of "what?"s.

Victini glanced up at Celebi. "Hey, wanna be my friend?"

"Sure!" Celebi squeaked back, twirling through the air. Charizard stepped forward.

"No way. I'm Celebi's guardian. She goes nowhere without me."

"...so...you're the guardian of the guardian?" Empoleon chimed in. Charizard spun around and spat smoke at him again. Empoleon coughed and rushed out of the cloud.

"Well, ahem...I guess you could call me that." Charizard raised her head proudly. Celebi and Victini glanced at each other and smiled.

"So then that means you're coming with us?" Victini asked. Celebi nodded eagerly and looked up at Charizard with pleading eyes.

"...

...

...

..fine," Charizard grumbled.

"Eeeeeep!" Both Celebi and Victini cheered, hugging each other. Both Charizard and Empoleon rolled their eyes and continued down route 201, with Celebi and Victini following close by, chattering away about the interesting things that happened in Ilex Forest and Liberty Garden Island.


	3. Chapter 3

**Empoleon, Charizard, Victini, Celebi**

"Ehee, yeah, once, in the Ilex Forest, there was a HUUUUGE rattata, and it tried to bite-"

"FOR THE LOVE OF ARCEUS, WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?"

Celebi instantly stopped talking, shocked. Still growling with anger, Empoleon turned back around and continued walking. Charizard, who was flying beside him, frowned.

"Seriously, do you have to be so mean?" she sighed, landing. Empoleon shrugged. "Meh."

Victini laughed at Celebi.

"Oh, dudedudedude, this one time, there was some rich kid, and he bought my island and locked me up in the lighthouse! What a jerk. And even worse, I had to eat- wait...you hear that?"

Celebi shook her green head. Victini stopped.

"Woah, I think there's something in the woods. Can't you hear it?"

"Victini, don't you dare jump out at me...that's the 6th time this hour."

"No, this time, it's real..."

Celebi's eyes widened. She slowly lowered herself to the ground, at Victini's eye level.

"Hey, I know, we'll EXPLORE it! That would be sooooo fun!" Celebi twirled gracefully high up in the air, towards the sun, then went back down to Victini. Victini's constant smile grew.

"YES! Let'sgonowbeforeIexplode!"

Victini cheerfully scurried into the thick and dark forest on all fours. Celebi dove in after her, squealing excitedly, "Cerrrrrrebi! Cerebibibi!"

The only sign that they had been there was a clump of Victini's bright orange fur.


	4. Chapter 4

As Victini and Celebi trekked through the forest, the strange sounds were getting louder. The two had an insanely difficult time getting through the thick underbrush and low, low branches. No wonder why anybody ever went in here!

Suddenly, they hit a clearing. It came as a shock, an almost glowing, bright white patch that contrasted brilliantly against the forest's black shadows. In the center sat a tiny Cubone, singing a sad, soft melody. Tears rolled down her skull, but she kept her head held up high. The bone that Cubones usually carry was nowhere to be found.

"Let's go talk to it!" hissed Celebi excitedly, darting forward into the light. Victini grabbed her leg and tugged her back.

"Nuh-uh, look at it. It's shaking. I think we should leave it alone before it..." Victini trailed off, her voice being coated by the Cubone's depressed melody. Her ears flattened.

"Awwww, I think it just needs a friend!" Celebi tried twirling again, but her leg got tangled in the thorny branch of a bush. She fell to the ground with a loud _thump_. Instantly, the Cubone stopped and turned her head towards the duo. It jumped down from the boulder it sat on and dove behind it. Victini sighed.

"It's so scared and lonely and...cute! Let's keep it!" Celebi dashed off again, and this time, Victini couldn't grab her. Celebi twirled above the silvery, shining boulder, then circled it until she found Cubone. Victini hopped behind her on all fours.

"Wha...who are you? Will you hurt me?" Cubone whimpered, stepping back. Celebi shook her head.

"Wanna be my friend? I can do really cool things, and we could eat berries all day and then go play, and..."

"Eat sweets!" Victini added, her large head popping out from behind the rock. Cubone squealed and tumbled backwards. Celebi flew up to it and held it up by its paw.

"I'll call you Melody!" she sung, flying back up in the air. She still held on to Cubone. Cubone screeched and kicked, frantically attempting to escape Celebi's grasp. Victini looked up angrily.

"What if it's a boy? I wanna name it Thomas!" she shouted, Celebi flying higher up. "Oh, and also, you forgot to let go of Cubone."

Celebi looked down and giggled at Cubone's attempts to escape. She quickly dove down and dropped it.

"So, are you a girl, or a boy?" Victini asked, tilting her head. Cubone hugged her chest and sat down on the grassy ground.

"I-I'm a girl-"

"Then it's Melody, cuz you're a good singer!" Celebi cheered, flying down to hug Melody. Melody wailed loudly and flapped her tiny arms. Celebi instantly let go. Cubone's copper cheeks turned carnation pink.

"Y-you heard me?" Her sea green eyes widened, and she took a step back. Celebi laughed wildly.

"Yeah, you're soooooo good! I like your voice! It's really nice!" Celebi hugged Melody again. Melody quickly slipped out of her warm grasp.

"Where's your bone?" Victini quietly asked, tilting her head again. She sat in with her legs criss-crossed and her front paws beside her, bobbing her head like a parakeet.

"Momma..." Melody whimpered, all of her energy draining. She looked down at the ground and began crying again, forming a muddly puddle under her paws. Celebi flicked her head towards Victini.

"Sorry about Victini," she murmured, turning back to Melody. "Now come with me, Melody!"

"Hold on."

Celebi, Victini and Melody all spun around behind them. Celebi quickly dropped Melody, who she was holding in her arms.

A dark shape floated through the forest, barely visable. Its eyes gleamed brightly, like little diamonds.

Victini gulped. Celebi threw her hands to her mouth.

This was not good.


End file.
